How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
