yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
