Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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