I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
