Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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