haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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