i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
