Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize