so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
