my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
