Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Operation Purity has been aborted
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
