Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
