Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
