hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
