so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
