I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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