he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
