From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
