he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
