talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
