Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just had sex on a roof
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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