so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
