i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
