i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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