I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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