Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
