Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
