i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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