Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
