I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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