Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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