Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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