Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
did i just pee glitter
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
