Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
