I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
