The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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