we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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