Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
