hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
