I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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