4 words: hood of his car
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
