dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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