My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
