the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
