Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
my sisters under your porch take her home
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
