you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
