Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
