PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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