I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
