Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
