so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
