She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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