In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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