I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
