Buhtt sex?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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