His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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