Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
