am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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