i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize