we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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